Where did this time go girl? I’ve thought about you a lot over the years. I don’t want to count them because it just makes me realise how long you’ve been gone when to me it still feels like yesterday that we were making stupid photoshoots or talking about your garden patch dreams. Thailand brought you up a lot. Coincidence or not, you would show up in all the right places. Once round my friend Chrissie’s. We were talking about her mum who she’d lost as a teen. Then there you were, casually flapping around in her garden. She also believed her mum said hello as a butterfly so I knew it was you. In Chiang Mai you showed yourself more. It was nice to know you’re hanging with family there. It really was as beautiful as you always said. Missing you always.
3rd January 2024
I’ll be thinking of Jacq next week as I run the London Marathon in her memory, raising vital funds for Rethink Mental Illness. Always in my thoughts ❤️
Sunny Winter
12th April 2023
Thanks to Melantha Abraham for some of the early verses of this poem:
http://www.messagesforhope.com/poems-for-the-heart.html
She hid her face when she wasn’t alone
she wore a mask but it wasn’t her own
It was everyone else she wanted to be
be just like them supposedly free
Free from the darkness the troubles of life
free from inner conflict and worries and strife
But when night time fell and she climbed into bed
her mask fell apart and her heart filled with dread
She screamed and she cried but no one could hear
she wanted them to know all of her fear
Her fear of facing a world with no mask
afraid they wouldn’t like her afraid they wouldn’t ask
So she waited for the day with hope in her heart
when she’d wear her own face and make her new start
That day didn’t come and she couldn’t wait
so she left us all for the pearly gate
Little did she know on that fateful night
that behind her mask was such a dazzling sight
The world is now a dimmer place
but finally our girl can wear her own face
So much talent and potential lost
melted away like the morning frost
Despite her struggles she was always their
for any one in need of care
Such a wonderful daughter sister Auntie and friend
why didn’t she know it right to the end
So much love for her was there
if only she saw it thru the fog of despair
We are so sorry for the mistakes to the end
that our simple minds did never fully comprehend
We are so sorry that we weren’t enough
to help you thru a life so tough
We are so sorry that we weren’t there
to comfort you during your final despair
We were on life’s highway she was in quicksand
why oh why couldn’t we fully understand
So much we have learned from our loss
wiser people we are but at such a cost
We miss her so much we just want her back
it is so hard to take to be without our Jacq’
A hole she has left far too deep to fill
we feel our lives will be forever uphill
However we know her mind is now clear
of the turmoil and thoughts that held such fear
This is our lifeline for future happiness
but of our Jacq’ we’ll never think less
Her soul is in peace and she is now free
to be her beautiful self for eternity
Soar far our dear Jacq’ use your wings
go and enjoy all your hopes and dreams
David
9th October 2015