Where did this time go girl? I’ve thought about you a lot over the years. I don’t want to count them because it just makes me realise how long you’ve been gone when to me it still feels like yesterday that we were making stupid photoshoots or talking about your garden patch dreams. Thailand brought you up a lot. Coincidence or not, you would show up in all the right places. Once round my friend Chrissie’s. We were talking about her mum who she’d lost as a teen. Then there you were, casually flapping around in her garden. She also believed her mum said hello as a butterfly so I knew it was you. In Chiang Mai you showed yourself more. It was nice to know you’re hanging with family there. It really was as beautiful as you always said. Missing you always.

I’ll be thinking of Jacq next week as I run the London Marathon in her memory, raising vital funds for Rethink Mental Illness. Always in my thoughts ❤️

Thanks to Melantha Abraham for some of the early verses of this poem: http://www.messagesforhope.com/poems-for-the-heart.html She hid her face when she wasn’t alone she wore a mask but it wasn’t her own It was everyone else she wanted to be be just like them supposedly free Free from the darkness the troubles of life free from inner conflict and worries and strife But when night time fell and she climbed into bed her mask fell apart and her heart filled with dread She screamed and she cried but no one could hear she wanted them to know all of her fear Her fear of facing a world with no mask afraid they wouldn’t like her afraid they wouldn’t ask So she waited for the day with hope in her heart when she’d wear her own face and make her new start That day didn’t come and she couldn’t wait so she left us all for the pearly gate Little did she know on that fateful night that behind her mask was such a dazzling sight The world is now a dimmer place but finally our girl can wear her own face So much talent and potential lost melted away like the morning frost Despite her struggles she was always their for any one in need of care Such a wonderful daughter sister Auntie and friend why didn’t she know it right to the end So much love for her was there if only she saw it thru the fog of despair We are so sorry for the mistakes to the end that our simple minds did never fully comprehend We are so sorry that we weren’t enough to help you thru a life so tough We are so sorry that we weren’t there to comfort you during your final despair We were on life’s highway she was in quicksand why oh why couldn’t we fully understand So much we have learned from our loss wiser people we are but at such a cost We miss her so much we just want her back it is so hard to take to be without our Jacq’ A hole she has left far too deep to fill we feel our lives will be forever uphill However we know her mind is now clear of the turmoil and thoughts that held such fear This is our lifeline for future happiness but of our Jacq’ we’ll never think less Her soul is in peace and she is now free to be her beautiful self for eternity Soar far our dear Jacq’ use your wings go and enjoy all your hopes and dreams